Current mood:	loved
Current music:	pat benetar - love is a battlefield.

i am in love with xanadu. i'm just afraid to tell her that because of what's going to happen in 10 days. she's also spent her life in long-term relationships... will this come too soon? too late? yesterday she wanted me to tell her a secret - i didn't really have any (most of my misdeeds are now "funny stories" and the others i've long since forgotten) but the real secret is just how long i've been searching for someone like her, and just how happy i am to have found her... but she knows just how afraid i am about what's going to happen in 10 days... because she's feeling it too. maybe i should just relinquish control and say what i feel... but then again once these things are said they can't be unsaid. for me, getting over her will be painful but it will eventually happen... but she has to live with the consequences....

and until then we're just going to have to enjoy each other for the moment. i've fallen pretty hard.

speaking of falling - yesterday i was having a rotten day, students were stressing me out at office hours, i was really tired and behind on my work and xanadu and i had to study stochastics... i thought that when i was going to get home she was going to be ready to study and i just wanted to sleep... and i was so late and so far behind that i was falling apart. this morning i was in the shower and i was thinking "yesterday i was falling apart now i'm falling in love".... and that reminded me of a song, so i started singing it. when i got out of the showe, guess what song was on the radio? total eclipse of the heart!!!!!!!!!!!!! how insane is that?????

tonight we're going out dancing - PYRAMID BABY!!!!!!!